Narcissists and Misogyny

I don't think that all narcissists are misogynists but mine certainly is.  He actually told me that he does not want to work for a female boss.  He would rather work for an incompetent, unqualified male.  Women, according to him, don't belong in management positions.  He told me this early on in our relationship, I should have gotten out then, but I made excuses.  I'd like to mention that he has a steady job with a good company.  It is a menial job and he has no ambition or desire to advance.  Before I met him I had a career where I had been promoted several times until I made it to Director.  He never expressed joy or pride on my accomplishments.

To a misogynistic narcissist there are only two types of women, the Madonna and the whore, and the narcissist does not respect either.  Read about the Madonna/whore Complex.

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Get Out Early...And Stay Out!!

I haven't written any new posts here in a while because I get angry when I think of my narcissistic ex, and I don't like being angry.  But here I am again, and I hope to write something that rings familiar.

The title of this post 'Get Out Early...And Stay Out!!' is the best advice I can give anyone in a relationship with a narcissist.  Unfortunately, I didn't do that.  I got out but then went back in 18 months later at his urging.  His sales pitch was that he re-evaluated his life and wanted to make changes.  I didn't completely believe him but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told him I would re-enter the relationship 'cautiously optimistic'.  Well, the only thing he changed was his address.

Narcissists must have their way all the time,  the only way they can accomplish that is by lying.  That's what he did to get me back in.  Beware of lies.  It's what they do.  Also beware of the superior attitude, they will try to crush you with it.  Actually, it's quite laughable and contradictory.  The core of narcissism is INSECURITY not superiority.

Here is a list of 5 traits of a narcissist.  If you see these traits, you might want to get out and stay out.

Tomorrow's post will be Narcissists and Misogyny.

Don't Make Excuses

I never made excuses to other people for my ex-narcissist's despicable behavior.  I did however make excuses to myself.  I would rationalize and then try to justify his actions and words.  I blamed it on his childhood, or his inexperience with social skills.  That's one of the reasons why I allowed the relationship to go on as long as it did...I made excuses.  I got out for good when I realized that he would not accept accountability for anything.  He actually, truly believes that everyone does and should like, even admire, him just the way he is. I'm referring here mostly to his extreme sarcasm aimed at practically everyone, his criticism, ridicule and insults.  He is proud of those things.
As anyone with half a brain knows, when someone ridicules, insults, criticizes and spews sarcasm, they are merely attempting to degrade others while trying to prove they are superior.
Don't make excuses.
 

Narcissistic Men...Do We Call Them Human?

I've been researching narcissism and I found a very interesting article. It's practically a mirror image of my life with a narcissist.

• "Narcissists fear the female gender, but do not evidence their fear when associating with females. Instead their behavior and words indicate a dislike and distrust of female motives and intentions." read the article

Narcissistic Arrogance

Oh yes, narcissists are arrogant!  Here's an example and I'll try to keep it short.  One day when my ex-narcissist lied to me, I called him on it.  He was so apologetic (phony) he practically cried.  (I'm rolling my eyes right now).  But he said "what can I do to make it up to you, I'll do anything you ask"  (blah, blah, blah).  So I gave him a very small and reasonable request.  About a month later I asked him if he had done what I asked.  He said "no".  I asked why not.  He said "I changed my mind."  This is when I reminded him that HE was the one who made the claim that he would do anything.  To this his response was "oh, you took that literally?"
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they will suck you dry...slowly.  Look for the signs, the traits and the small stuff.  These are the things that pile up and if you don't get out early in the relationship you will get sucked deeper and deeper into the muck.

Will a Narcissist Change?

Will a narcissist change their ways? The answer to that is an emphatic NO! Although therapy can help to modify a narcissists behavior, they have no reason to change. They are perfect as is, and you don't exist as a person so they won't change for you. You could suggest going to a psychologist for help and the narcissist might agree to go, but he won't go for very long because the psychologist is stupid.  Narcissists rarely seek professional help.

Narcissistic Love: The Madonna/whore Complex

The narcissists motto: The object of my affection is my reflection.

According to Sigmund Freud, many narcissists suffer from a psychological complex which renders them incapable of combining love and sex to form a ‘normal’ relationship with any one person. Love and sex are immensely separate entities and can only be experienced with two (or more) people. The culprit, according to Freud, is known as the Madonna/Whore Complex.

Content Source: Bukisa - Narcissistic Love: The Madonna/whore Complex